Wednesday, September 17, 2014

robin williams: why his suicide isn't just another celebrity death

it's been a month since i was standing in the kitchen and alex told me robin williams had died. that sudden jolt of shock that makes you feel nauseous filled my body. no! he can't be dead! images of a horrible car accident came to my mind before i asked did he die?

"um, the article says suicide."

what?! no... robin williams? one of the the happiest, funniest men alive?

i wasn't aware he battled depression or had been to rehab for drug abuse. i learned about his mental health issues in the days that followed. but he seemed so happy.

that's the thing about the misunderstood world of depression. outward appearance is no indicator of what's really going on. mental illness is brain cancer. you can't see it and unfortunately it isn't received well from others. when people that ​have cancer share their diagnosis with us, our first reaction is empathy. but God forbid someone with mental illness share their struggles with us. we back away slowly like it's some disease we can catch. 

i don't know what people who battle depression need to hear. but i do know what they don't need to hear.

stop posting that picture from aladdin that says "you're free now, genie"

do you not hear what that is saying to people who are considering committing suicide?!?! i'm sure it seems harmless and makes you feel all sentimental about your childhood but let's get one thing straight:

suicide is not freedom. stop perpetuating that idea. stop telling deeply depressed people that they'll finally be free if they kill themselves. STOP.

suicide is the 10th leading cause of death for americans. nearly 40,000 people take their life every year. on a scale of 1 to a trillion i only understand .000000000000001% about mental illness but that is no excuse to pretend it doesn't exist.

next time you get upset that robin williams pops up in your news feed more than the articles about human trafficking, remember those statistics. keep in mind there are people around you suffering, some of them silently, that could do without your dismissal of an issue that's just as real and horrible.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

the dreaded update

ok ok ok you guys! i've heard you! you can stop asking me why i haven't posted lately. i know i've been MIA for um, quite a while... but you know that saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." well i didn't have any weight loss to report and i sure as heck wasn't about admit i had actually gained weight (until now apparently) so i just kept my mouth shut. but i realize that's not fair to you all. the whole reason i originally blogged about changing my diet and lifestyle was to share about the ups and downs because most people only post their weight loss victories and leave out the stories of when they overindulged and the scale stayed the same one week, or even worse, went up! i guess i was hoping i'd be one of those people who got to go trashy bikini shopping after an effortless few months. hardly. so here's the truth, all 21,000 extra calories of it...

i genuinely thought shaming myself into losing weight with my first post a few months ago would work but alas, it...didn't. you have to, like.. work hard to lose weight. i learned the hard way that just because something is gluten free doesn't make it ok to eat 6 of them in one sitting. gluten free does not equal magical weight loss bar, especially when it comes to aldi's gluten free brownie bars.

i was excited about sharing my weight loss journey with y'all. i thought i'd post every week or so with a new picture of myself on the scale, talk about the ups and downs, get your advice, hopefully be an encouragement to others and ya know, most of all, brag as the number decreased. that number did go down at first and then i hit a wall. and then the number started going up...quickly. as quickly as i could eat popsicles.

i was watching extreme makover: weight loss edition a few nights ago and the contestant they were featuring started out at over 300 pounds. if you haven't seen an episode of the show it's basically like an entire season of the biggest loser condensed into a two hour episode. they film their journey for a whole year so you get to see the entire transformation in one night. it's pretty cool.

anyway, i am sitting there watching this woman who is so overweight and out of shape she has to ride her lawn mower to the end of her driveway to get the mail. by the end of the show she has not only improved her health dramatically but she now weighs less than i do. WHAT. so i unwrapped another gluten free brownie bar and turned the channel. i refused to watch another minute. she had over a 100 pounds to lose and she did it while i've sat here for the past 2 months and can't seem to lose another pound.

why is losing weight so hard!! they can send people to the moon but an effective cinnabon and pizza diet has yet to be created. priorities, people!

ok, i just need to buckle down, get a better routine, and stay committed to it. i swear this whole thing would be easier if that freakin italian ice guy wasn't across the freakin street from my office every freakin afternoon! it's all your fault, delicious italian ice guy, i would obviously be 10 pounds thinner if you didn't force me to stop by every afternoon. wow, it feels nice to finally have someone to blame :)

Monday, July 7, 2014

a gilmore girls inspired dessert

lorelai: what is right anyway, you know? who defines right? and if eating cake is wrong, i don't want to be right. 

that's basically my mantra in life.

i made this dish last year for our family's july 4th celebration and it was big hit. i told everyone it was sugar free and fat free. it's not. but it is delicious. like, stupid good. it's so unhealthy that i limit myself to enjoying it only once a year and our independence day festivities make the perfect occasion. 

gilmore girls has inspired a lot of things in my life over the years from winter jacket purchases, to books i've read, and even who i married. seriously. think about it, alex is basically a bald luke. he cooks all my meals, loves camping, and bless his heart he loves me despite the quirkiness. if only he owned more flannel.

my mom helped me with this dessert which is only fitting considering ya know, gilmore girls..mother daughter...yeah. 

i think that if i could go to the dragon fly inn and steal sookie's apron for a few minutes while i whip up this ice cream sandwich cake and serve it to lorelai and rory they would definitely approve. i wish i could have thought of this years ago and told amy sherman-palladino so they could have served it during their willy wonka movie night back in season 1. oh, season 1...the good ole days. 

4th of july was nothing short of spectacular. the other 364 days of the year i try to only eat healthy, whole foods but on this special day i celebrate my freedom by eating whatever the heck i want. get over it, food babe! i will not listen to you on this day! i enjoy the fact that i lose count of how many hot dogs and beers i consume on this wonderful perfect day and no investigation of yours will change that!! 

i've named this dessert "quite decadent but what the hell, why not" (if you know the episode i got that from plus 1000 cool points for you.)

i completely forgot to get a picture before we cut into it and when i remembered 10 seconds later it was already like this.

do you see all those layers of deliciousness? waaaaah! i want to make another one right now!

quite decadent but what the hell, why not is super easy and quick to make, which is also very gilmore girls-esque because as much as they loved junk food they only made stuff that was easy. i looked up recipes today for this same dessert and a lot of them look really good but require so many more making chocolate pudding to add as a layer. please. the whole point is for this to be as easy as possible! 

ice cream sandwiches 
cool whip/whipped cream
maraschino cherries 
magic shell chocolate 
caramel (optional)
oreo's (optional)

i used a 13"x6" glass pan and put a thin layer of cool whip all over
1 layer of ice cream sandwiches
another layer of cool whip
light layer of maraschino cherries
light layer of walnuts
another layer of ice cream sandwiches
cool whip
magic shell chocolate 

if you want to make it even more decadent add caramel and oreo's! that's what i'm going to try next year. 

that last layer of magic shell is messy! i put the glass pan on a sheet of foil so that as the chocolate drizzled over it wouldn't get every where in the freezer before it hardened. put it back in the freezer for a few hours before you eat it and then....

dig in! 

disclaimer: you will feel like a boiling bag of trash the next day. you can't say i didn't warn you.

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